It's for YOU,man.

An another one good job you did last night.
--------------------------------------------------
I was tried so hard to lied at myself to believe what you had said,
i know it's doesn't a truth at all.
That's impossible everything came at the same times
You thought i will really believe miracles do happen on you?
Sorry,i'm not that kind of stupid girl.
You thought you treat me good in front of me everytimes,
so i will really keep on forgive you as long as when the times we are together?
That's wong,man.
Yes,Finally,
i saw some of it,
a few msg from her and her,
still got how many alots of HER?
i think even yourself also couldn't count it out,right?
You're really so so so.......
i just unexplainable and don't know what word should be describe on your everything
Yes,you was lying me alone over while the times i was weakness
you don't want to amit it and facing and telling me all the truth,
you tried to avoid it and away from me
That's what you did last night
Eyes did really swollen a very good cry
i was away and drove whole the way over alone to somewhere at the next moment you leaved too,
i don't know how i goanna go back home,
i felt so sorry to my family,
i tried so hard to lied them up,
when the moment they mention about you,
i did tried so hard to avoid their question.
i don't know which person i goanna called and be my listener and sharer.
The tears from eyes is still keep on dropping never stop untill now,
and i'm wearing a spec for cover it,
i did try to smiles and laugh so hard when i'm facing everyone of human,
actually every happen between us is keep on reminding in my deep heart.
I was tried to calm down myself and stop crying,
but failure.
I was keep on silent,
And my phone is just keep on ranging,
the called and msg is from diffrent person,
i HATE the phone rang,
so i was setting it as silent,
After an hours,
i can't stand with it,
and i don't know who should i find,
so just drove back home.
Parents was keep asked me this and that,
i never having any meals after breakfast,
i did make a lied to them that i just finished my dinner with friends,
maybe they felt little bit weird,
causes i doesn't look at them face at all while i was answered their question,
i just keep look over floor and walk whole the way as fast as i can over upstair and locked my bedroom door.
they keep called my name over downstairs and i lied them that i wanna take a shower and have to sleep.
But actually no,
i was lying on my bed,
everything was start on work and keep reminded,
how bad is the feeling have?
No-one will understand it.
Do you ever know you did hurts someone so much?
I'm wondering,are you a pure human?
How come you can accept this kind of life?
Don't you think it's very complicated while one person have realise it out?
Sorry here for hacked your account,
but i was forced by you too.
What privacy between you have to hides between us?
How long you thought you can hides all this?
How long you thought you still can play?
How long you thought you can lies from me?
If you really so scares others ppl know it,
then what for together?
You thought you're not enough Playful?
You thought i will really believe every single things from your mouth?
No,you're wrong.
No wonder i can't even get any calls and msg,
you really did it,
and start to find and knowing more of THEM over Brunei.
You reply me you choose yes and hold this on,
but you don't want to stop how to you hold this on?
I have tell you hundred thousand times,
if you doesn't do all this,
if you have prove and show it to me you really have settle and close it,
and others,
i wouldn't be keep check on you and giving more pressure.
You really did the mistaken and how you gotta ask me to stop check on you?
You really did the mistaken and how you gotta ask me to take over the jelous?
You really did the mistaken and how you gotta ask me to stop doubt at you?
You replied me:I love you,i know what am i doing.
Is it this is how you treat your love one?
A very weird person you are.
You're a full time Cheater and Betrayer.
I am going to see how steady and how smart are you going to be with THEM.
Play it in whole of your life if you dare.
But becareful,
don't make the big case comes out and happened on you one day,
your best bros is the best example.
I can't understand what you actually want at all,
you thought you do like this we can get more happiness?
Finally,i get one of the reason you being cheater,
because you want to get yourself a happy life.
Excuse me,man,
have you think you just care of your own feeling,
between you doesn't think of you did hurts somoone so much.
Is it this is really how the way you get your happy life?
Don't you think it's very cheap?
Is it you really can't live without Them?
Can you change it and using other way to get your happy life?
Can you please change it and hao hao de for hold this since you choose a Yes?
You thought you're still young?
You thought how long you can play with this?
No matter what one day you have to stop it too.
Why don't you appreciate this and stop Them now?
Or maybe it's very difficult for you.
Maybe you uses to play with it at the whole of your life.
Nobody will know what's the answer in your mind.
Cause nobody understand what're you thinking.
If you really don't wanna to change your behaviour,
or you feel they are so important in your life,
and your can't live with a day or week without them,
or you think this is really how you get happy life in whole of your life,
then you please go.
I won't leave you down,
No matter how hurts and hard is it.
Afterthat nobody will care what you are doing anymore,
Nobody will keep check on your privacy too,
Nobody will keep try hard to steal your phone to know your everything too,
Nobody will giving you stress n pressure since you did said you got it nowadays anymore,
Nobody will keep on command you anymore,
and lots more.
And you can try go find a new one,
i'm going to see who is the next person whose get hurts,
i'm going to see how long you can hides from her,
i'm going to see will her accept your behaviour and habbits.?
and lots more.
Not only me will treat you like that,
you can try over another person.
If she will accept i think she is not much diffrent as you too.
Meant maybe she got a same behaviour and habbits as you.
I will do what i had said,
so you stop then i do promise you i will stop do it too,
but not so easily,
at least you have to show me everything that you really success do it,
and no more privacy between us.
At the same,
you can't stop it,i can't stop too.
No matter what is the way you going to hold this,
at last we will end too.
This is the very first time i saw this kind of man.
You are really too over did it.
Don't you think and feel it too?
Please re-read all the msg i sent you on Sunday night and Monday morning when you're free.
Think yourself carefully.
See how bad are you have.
I'm losing cofidence,and not going to looking towards,
the more i dream,think,care,and etc,
the more i hurts.
Can you please answer my question one by one,
by honestly and truthly,
i will try to forgive it for the very Last time,
but you doesn't want to faces,
you choose to avoid it.
How long you goanna to avoid it?
Do you know you do like this will only making the things become worst?
Cause you doesn't want to settle it down.
That's still got alot of unexplainable things,
alot of secret i have to hides and keep between us,
I have being a Full time pretender in front of everyone.
I tries so hard just not to show my weakness part in front of every-one,
I try to hold my smiles,tears and everything in everytimes and everywhere.
And you thought you setting your messenger as Away so i will really believe you've Away or never chatting over at all?
you thought you doesn't online after off work so i really will believe every reason you give everytimes?
No,You're wrong.
You really did it that why i distrust you.
If you doesn't did it then why don't you show it to me,
why you so scare and hate of it when the moment i check on it?
If you really doesn't do it,
just prove it.What so hard?
But you said that you no,
you doesn't admit it,
and you're so scare and hate when the moment i realised it.
You really doesn't did everything bad,
Why you have to scares for it?
No point.Pointless=.=
Why you doesn't feel fulfilled or content and appreciate everything that you have in front of you in reality?
Why you have to mix unreality in?
You're a full-time player,cheater and betrayer.
i have no-word can decribing on you.
You not a good lover at all.
Sigh,
don't wanna to say more.
It's enough long for me to expression my feeling here.
No matter how much i did wrote,
i think you won't never feel sorry and guilty with it too.
If you think worthy for you to end this just ONLY cause of THEM with those unreality and networking,
i don't mind you choose it to be with it.
No choice,
Cause you need it,perhaps you will dead if ask you to stop it.
*Dissapointed
*Hurts
*Unexplainable

*Don't disturb me

n z

*Don't disturbing me.Thank you

I'm still living with my life peacefully here

I still can smiles out with my fattie face=)

I still can live and light up my life without you

Yes,you did a good job today my dearest,

I guess you're very enjoy your life there now,

not guessing,is Surely,

Right?

Don't msg me and bother my life can,

since you keep on likes to repeat the mistaken,

You haven't eat,you're hungry,

It's Non-on-my business,Man,

yourself want to choose the way,

you msg me,

can i help you on anything?

Damn Lamer~!!!

You're hungry there then so easy,

just take out your phone,

make a call,

there are still got few roll of girls waiting you for accompany them have a dinner.

MUAHAHAHA~!!!

You msg me,you thought i will care of you,

or you thought i will sending you a dinner.?*LoL

that's the decision you make,

don't disturb me.

I'm very enjoy my life now.

i don't need have to wait a msg a call from anyone,

i don't need have to wait someone online or cambie with me every days and nights,

i don't need have to wait everything,

i don't need have to get a permission of what i want to do from anyone,

except my parents,=)

i don't need have to keep setting my phone as General,

i can setting it to Silent in anytimes,

i don't need have to do something that i don't like,

i don't need have to keep wait the times pass every minutes and hours,

i don't need have to do lots of things that i don't likes and i don't suppose to do...

If you do really don't wanna to take it a yes,

i just can treat you as cool as i can,

no choice,

you did hurts me so much,

that's your behaviour,

you don't want to change it,

i have nothing can do,

just stay as far as i can better.

I don't wanna a boyfriends.

Yes,
I don't wanna a boyfriend.
and i don't need it,
i just need a Realman.
that treat his gf with trueheart,career,honest,gentle
the one and the only please,
No any lies and player is Allow
If you can't make it,
Goodbye my dear.
Don't waste my times,tears and everything*HAHAHA

------------------------------------------------------

ohyes,
i found it,
that's truth,
you really did a good job my dearest,
no-one will be pro than you,
you're the super duper hyper pro Cheater,
you're the Best,
I'm so damn dissapointed on you henestly,
if the times may restart,
i wishes that we are just a stranger,
or rather love you but not choose you be my partner.
It's just a dream.
Everything does Happened.
Can't let's the times roll back anymore
How bad is it?
I saw it accidently this three days
yes,you was on your Skype on Wednesday night,
yes,you was on your msn last night after it appears it to offline,
yes,you did on your facebook just now
yes,i can't bear it and i did msg to your brunei number just now
Sorry,
i just can't stand with it.
i can't understand,
why you have to lied at me?
what can you get for you to do all this?
if got others or anything happen for you to do this,
why don't you just tell me honestly,
maybe i will try to accept it and forgive you,
but you Never,
untill i doubt it and told you,
you still wanted to lied at me and don't wanna to admit with it,
yes,
you never want to tell out all the truth honestly,
you're just keep hides and hides,
being cheater everytimes,
yes,
you did said it out yesterday,
that's you behaviour,
it's really bad,
do you know that,
that's why we can't maintain it and be worst
if you doesn't know it,
then i tell you here now.
maybe you will come my blog and read it,or maybe you won't.
Maybe just like what i had said,
you did really never ever appreciate it,
cause you doesn't know who're the one you need with,
because it have too many person in your mind.
Untill you doesn't know what you want.
Have you ever think it clearly,
why everything happened on you in the same times,
the reason is because you're too over Playful.
If you doesn't did it,
will it happened on you,
the answer is No.
You're just too boring and find making some trouble in your life.
Cause you thought you do like this and you can get what you want and make your life be more beautiful.
How bad you are?
You never want to change it,
so now if you did really go,
you can try to the next person you be with,
try how long can she bear of your behaviour,
i think that's impossible she will accept it forever,
except she got a same Hobbies as you.
Not only i can't bear it,
you can try it on others too,at the next person if we do really end,
it's No-one will accept it,
i'm saying it honestly.=)
That's why you can't get a happiness always,
cause you did being a Full time Cheater everyday,
no matters to who.
I'm wonder won't you feel guilty when you are cheating someone?
You do really have a very weird think-ness in your mind,
nobody will understand and know what are you thinking at all.
I love you,but i dissapointed on you very much.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy Birthday to Fai fai Chin here,
wishes you all the best,
may your dream all comes true,
sorry for can't attend your party night tonight,
forgive me please,
i hope you can't understand it,
i guess everyone is having fun over Season now.
Too bad,i can't join it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for reject all the missed call,msg,comment and everything
i did saw all the msg and comment or conversation from all of you,
but i doesn't touch it and reply it,
i'm still pretty fine here,
don't worry,
thx for the everything,
well,
everything will be alright soon,
just leave me alone,
i just need to take a good rest,
since im suffering with alots of sickness now,
and my stomach is damn pain,
untill i don't know and can't make it clear it's suffering on wound or gastric pain=(
----------------------------------------------------------------------
yes,
the one and the only that i have contacts today,
Andy Lau Hieng Bing,
thx you for made me smiles the whole night,
thx you for made alots of your fugly-ness to me,
thx you for joked with me and forget all the sadness,
thx you for cheers me up,
forget to shoot down the pic of we cambie with your cutie faces=)
although it's just a short times,
but i'm enough,
you make me smiles=)
you did a Good job.

The End

YES.
cries hardly the hold day,
untill my wound is damn pain now since it has inflamed,
suffering with fever and sorethroat somemore,
what is the bad day of today.?
i just wanna get an answer from you
can you please make everything of yours clearly
you doesn't reply me,
and yea,
you choose to being cheater,
you lied at me,
you did appears offline when you're at home,
and you was told me that you can't online cause of some others reason since last week,
so now,
i'm doubtfulness,
still got how many much of things you're still hiding at my back,
how many much of things you was lied at me from the day start untill now?
alots of question marks is in my mind now
and yes,
i send you the msg in messenger with full of tears on my face,
drop and dropped,
you never reply,
i know you did saw it,
nevermind,
at least you get it.
i'm making myself a decision to you,
but it's actually not what i want,
it's really hurts so much and deep,
but nothing else i can do anymore,
i can't bear it alone anymore,
it's really bad,sad and hurts honestly
i can't share it to others in everything while i'm down and sad always
because nobody will hold the secret
i'm really disappointed on everything that you has done,
and yes,
you're really too egoistics sometimes,not good and gentle enough
do you ever appreciate it and care of my feeling?
maybe you never...
you choose to be with them,
i would let you go,
cause i can't share a person with anyone others in the sametimes
i don't care it's on reality or networking
and i have told you,
i HATE them much,
i dislike a person that keep on repeating the mistaken that i dislike
and yes,
you do it.
i'm extremely tired.
i can't understand what you want.
i can't understand what're you thinking at all in your mind.
you did leave down a very bad memories in my deep heart inside
and you did leave down a very bad wound on my body that i'm still suffering nowadays
since i still can't get my Real report.
it's really bad.
this is how you treat me,
i did realised it,
now only i know,
who you are,
what kind of person you are,
i have been saw it clearly.
and i'm regret and disappointed on it.
is losing my direction,
show a very fake smile to facing everyone,
but actually i'm weak.
i can't understand,
it's just a very promises for me to you,
why you can't make it since it's just unreality,
is it it's more important than everything,
perhaps you will take a yes.
Fine,
since you can't make it for me,
i have nothing to say,
we just stop untill here,
and i don't wanna to explain it anymore.
Hurts so deep and much.
It's unexplainable.

Fever

*Yes,i'm on sick badly now

Can't sleep tightly at all last night

need wake up every four hours for took the medicine

finally,yesterday is the last day ate the medicine of A/B

hopefully that it will recover soon and it's really just inflamed

Do Not Come Twice,Please,Thx.

and now,fever have came and visited me

WT...

can't stop for having diffrent medicine in this month

diffrent sickness,diffrent medicine that i had

realised that my body is just getting weak and weakness after operation

How bad is it..?

had ate the Panadol of Active Fast last night

But,the Panadol was seriously get high my body temperature*Damn

i just put the Panadol inside to the drawer and don't eat it again

It's the Panadol that can kills Fever,headche,Stomache,Period pain and etc...*Ojibala,Rubbish

making me goanna getting crazy with my Fever and Gastric the hold day

Untill now,it's around 5.11pm

i never have any meals yet since i doesn't have any appetite to eat everything

By the way,

Hope that everything will get well soon,

Stop suffers with all the sickness,please.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Guessing

Yes,i have guessing lots of question and answer this few weeks

is confusing with the answer everytime

i can't believe it at all in everything

sorry,

maybe just because of i never get the prove and i can't see it

since it's far apart from me

and you do ever do that at the past

and you do ever repeat the mistaken once and once

nowadays,

i am doubtfulness in something seriously,

but i just never speak it out,

being silent maybe is the bestie way,

but i doesn't speak it out doesn't meant by i don't mind it,

i meant in everything,no matter what is it,

everything that i dislike,

please don't repeat the mistaken again since you know i dislike,

cause i'm tired to forgive it once and once.

I'm not a girl that Kind or Polite=)

i will change everything only when the times you change

for the same,

you change for me and i do change for you=)

*Perhaps it does really lost,I doesn't felt it anymore,

and i doesn't get it in everything at all.

I can't share,

i had told you about it clearly,

i can't share a person with anyone in the same times,

and i HATE them,

So,if you choose to be or uses to be with many person in the same times,

please don't wasting my times

If this still go on never Stop and Change,

The only one i can choose is just choose to give it up and get lose

No matter how hard,hurt and sad is it

i would rather choose to stands and faces all the sadness alone

I'm in Serious,Please,Thank You.

*I'm here to Pleasing you to take it serious

*Pleasing you to being honest in everything

*I'm not going to command you if you didn't got do anything wrong

*Please do not play at used when i'm asking you something angrily

*Be the one and the only,please.

*Pleasing you to Stop everything that i dislike

*Don't simply just giving me a promise that you can't make

*If you do it then you should say you have,if you no then say no.THX

*Don't make me distrust you more and more

*Please show and prove it that you really make it

Well,i will trust you if you really doesn't do it,

don't make me disappointed on you once and once,

don't make everything of us become more worst and worst.

Please remember,

Everything of us will be only change when the one of us choose to quit.

*Unexplainable

*Is missing it badly

*Is regret for my very last decision honestly

In the way too emotional nowadays

It's just so hard to express out the feeling

hoping it can end up with a good reason now

just unexplainable everything of what have done

i do hate it very much seriously

i don't know what can get between all this

i can't understand what to do for all this

I Don't and Can't.

balik kampung

*I know is it kinda annoying and ugly

*but i still like to post it out.HAHAHA~!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

Oh,Oh,Oh,

Balik Kampung,

Oh,Oh,Oh,

Balik Kampung....

Hari Raya is around the corner,

it's only left few days,

wow,it's sweet,

cause goanna having one weeks school holidays again

but its seems like nothing for me

cause i have never go for school often nowadays

maybe one weeks per day or two days*teehee

what to do,kinda not feeling well,it's damn suffering=(

my parents is going back Sibu this coming Saturday

Balik Kampung same as Malay*haha

i wishes to go back

but i couldn't make it on Saturday

Sigh

mummy called me just now,

recomfirmed me once more time again,

cause she wanna booking hotel

Rh hotel orelse Kingwood Hotel,

there're having some promotion offers now,

nonono,i can't make it on Saturday.

mummy asked me to drive myself back whole the way on Sunday afternoon if i want,

Ohmygod,i hope,the problem is i need someone to accompany me,

and i couldn't found anyone,

brother want gaming at home,

Miss Sia back on Friday,GRRR~!!!

Whoelse can accompany me?....*crazy

the reason for going back just wanna to meet my grandma up*imissher

second,get myself a haircut since my hair is damn long now

third,get myself some little shopping

fourth,treat grandma a dinner

fifth,imiss all those delicious food=(

Well,it's hopeless i can make it on Sunday,

but i will try my best bestie to go back if got anyone accompany me

don't wanna to stay at such kind of boring Miri City for my Raya holidays.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WTF,

finally,

i have put on all my confidence and went for a looks yesterday,

the results came out with a word MAYBE again,

i shout out louded,Do you know how to write the word PAIN....?

if it doesn't recover after one week later,

i'm really will going crazy.

Stop,Please.

早知如此,何必当初

是时候,
勇敢的面对一切,
不管日子有多难熬,多辛苦,
还是继续勇敢的面对事实走下去.
倒数着时间,
还剩下多少小时,多少天,
明天的一切又会是如何,
她实在没有胆量去想像.
以后的日子又有谁能陪伴她度过,
她更加没有力气去思考.
Imagination弄得她已开始疯颠,
眼泪不停使唤,心是如此的疼痛与无助,
知道结局是如此,
为何还要一错再错?
因为我们的好玩,
搞的大家如今需要承担一切的痛.
尤其可怜的她,
需要再次承受一切的痛,
需要勇敢面对事实与未来.
早知如此,何必当初,一切都已太晚=(

心,
是如此的慌乱,
情绪,
低到开始自闭,
现在,此时此刻的她,
只想好好一人静一静
她害怕,
她害怕面对事实,
她害怕朋友的问候,
她害怕家人的关心,
她害怕他的所有,
她害怕电话铃声响起,
她害怕人类,
她害怕那她曾经受难的地方,
她害怕寂寞,
但,
她因为害怕人类的陪伴.
她害怕一句问候,她害怕从人类口中的每一句话,
她害怕他的出现,
她更加的害怕家人失望的表情.
她的心是如此的凌乱,伤痛
没有任何人可以真正了解事情的来龙去脉,
所以,
根本没有任何人能够真正了解她的苦衷与感受
没有一个人能够真正属于她的听众,
因为人类是如此的恐怖,
一切的秘密都是假的,
保守秘密都是谎言,
我相信没有几个人能够真正做到所谓的替对方保守秘密
现在,
四人间的秘密,
能够保守多久,
我,你,他跟她,
我们一辈子的约定,
我实在不敢去想像事情的严重性,
我不敢去想像形象的存在.

如今,
事情再一次的发生在她的身上
叫她如何勇敢面对
以后,又是如何去像任何人解释所有
她,失去该走的道路,
她无法去想像
她,并没有他想像中的坚强
如今,
她发现,自己是如此的沱落
眼泪,不停在眼眶中打转,在留下
她不敢去想像,
如果某天他真的不愿承担这一切而离开,
她该如何一人面对,她又该找谁来陪伴她度过这一生一切的痛
她开始想像,许许多多的如果
如果没有如果
那该有多好
她开始害怕他的离去
因为许多的问题在这之间
也许只有他能明白
又或许没有任何人能明白
你或许不明白事情真正发生的原因何在不是她固执
而是她无法表达出心中的痛,她尝试逃避,
她无法表达出所有的事实
所以她就任由他胡乱的猜测
一直到如今,
事情再次的发生
我们该如何,
尤其她...
因为承受所有痛苦与病魔的是她,
承受所有一切事实和未来及所有一切的都是她,
所以你并没有任何足够的话语去判断她的思想 .

她,
累了。

12pm,12sept

In love,in love

*I'm loving this pic much for unreasonable*peace

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Saturday,

12pm now,12September

it's damn boring

i'm now sitting front of my lappie and start blogging bullshit rubbish here

nothing to do,

everyone are busy study,working,dating,sleeping and etc...

and i'm sitting here all the times alone whole the times

how pity is it?

is still suffering with my sickness

i'm scares and worries bout it untill losing confidence to facing it

ohnoo.and i have finish take all my medicine this morning

will it really recover after this?

will it really just a normal causes?

hope so...

but the percentage is so so low and less=(

how bad is it?

have you ever think why and what happen with causes all this that does happened one more times?

you never,and you're egoistics honestly

you never care,and you're still go on with your life peacefully with them every moment days and nights

you never ever worry about it,you never ever care it.

it's just a very little small care you have done

have you ever think what will going on and how worst is it if it does really on work second times? and think it what will i get and goanna faces this all in the future?

yea.you NEVER

because it's happened on mine,not you,

so you don't need have to care it so much,just show a little care is enough

is it truth?

because everything that have happened doesn't affect your life and future,so you don't need have to care it,is it?

you didn't got any authority to judge me,

cause you're not good enough,

and you doesn't understand my feeling at all,

cause the one whose goanna suffers for the sickness and painess is not you,

the one whose lose everything in the future is not you,

so you can't understand it at all,

can't even understand the reason of why i don't wanna go for it and just faces it with full of confidences.

the secret sickness is really makes me crazily

i can't share it at all to anyone,

end up with full of tears on my faces,

body is getting weak and weakness,

ever fainted in the house honestly for a short times,

have been lose 2kg this few weeks,

since i only get one meals per days.

i'm extremely tired,can i just get it out slowly,put it down,

i'm tired with this kind of complicated status,

i'm tired with my sickness too,

seriously,even one day have dead cause sick or others you doesn't know it too

cause you're busy spending whole the time days and nights with all of them that i hate

i felt wondering,wouldn't you feel guiltily when you do all this?

is wonder are you a real human?

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sorry friends,

hahaha,

i really shocked when saw my name in capital letter in someone msn list just now,

it's really a very first time that my hp no batt been almost per days,

since yesterday untill an hours ago,

i really didn't got off my hp kay,

my hp is really no batt,

the reason is i used up all my times on my bed and slept

since i doesn't felt well,

so i didn't got touch my hp at all,

that's why even my hp no batt i don't know too

forgive my very first time,paiseh*hehe

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received my beloved called yesterday

i'm still considering now,

i will make a decision for all of you as soon as i can,

since only six days left,

i really hope that i can make it,

but i just can't really go,

let's the times cure everything,

i do really miss you all,

it's really a very suprised and very first time i get the acception

since i does asked and get the permission once and onces,month and months

a small small excited now...

imiss Sibu

imiss grandma

imiss aunties and uncles

imiss cousins

imiss friends

imiss girls and boys

imiss babes

imiss kampua

imiss kompia

imiss 'hun nga'

imiss 'poh pian'*yummy

imiss shopping times

imiss the foods from Rh hotel

imiss cheese cake from Tanahmas

imiss lots of foods from 'qing san'

imiss many many and lotssss=)

imiss everything there...

towards,towards,towards...

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-End-

-12.46pm

-goanna ciao for nap,damn boring

In the house

*Realdaisy is here=)

It's so damn Fugly,but i'm still like it*peace

will post out diffrent cam shoot pictures in every post as i can*smiles

I just realise out that i'm always smiling to myself for hides or pretends everything

Perhaps this will get up my mood in good conditional

Trying to living with my days in my life peacefully

Do not care what kind of life they are living,

Cause we don't give a damn with it

We're not worthy to do and know that as well

That's just they own living style

Nothing of they done that can under our controlling

Yea.*) Live with own peaceful life

In the house

lazy to update my blog recently

since everything is still the same

never change and never go

but i will still try my best to update my blog at least one post per week kay=)

hehe...if not my babes goanna boom me again

she always complaining that i don't update my blog*pity me

is absent this few days

not only this few days

it's this few weeks

im just seems like only go school for one or two days per weeks

what to do...

i'm lazy sometimes,and sick sometimes

currently suffering from my painess and fever

just seems my fever can't recover

It do comes every week

the doc say maybe because of my sickness

it's times to stop everything

should take a good rest untill all of my sickness have recover*How bad=(

did went somewhere take my medicine last few days for control my sickness

the report i get from someone is 75% negative meant i need to faces it twice in my life*wtf

Meant by it's only 25% normal causes now

very so damn high percentage kay

Ohnoooo....

i should shut out loud in speaking chinese:Wo de tian..Zen me ban?

GRRRR...

I'm not as tough as what you have think in your mind

Parents is going Kuching again

for daddy's body checking maybe

so i goanna stay alone at home and diet-ing in the house

sleeping.watch mv.gaming,whatelse.No more i guess

have a long long times never chatting in msn already

nowadays is consider to close my msn account

i Hate with it

maybe it's just kinda annoying for me sometimes

well,i will still continue using my Skype account for babes girls and boys that so far away from me=)

*Well,

Just let's the times to prove everything

i hope you may do it as what you did say

i don't know how long you just can make it for me

but i hope you can make it as soon as you can

don't break any promise that you have gave,please.

heart you always*peace=)

Crying baby

yes.i try to manage my tears
but i can't do it.i try it hardly
the tears is just can't stand from my weakness
tears is still dropping down.every moment since last night untill now
while i think back all the past.everything and otherelse
untill now and this morning,
you can saw im going weak and weakness,
when the moment you looks through my eyes,and from my walking speed in every second
Sorry,i can't handle it at all,
i can't facing all this that was happened in a sec
yes,perhaps i'd totally have losing my way
i don't know which one and what should i do now
i can't listen everything from everyone
i choose to live with my own
i'm very emo-ing
i choose to cries,never stop
i can't stand from my painess and sickness
i can't stand for what've you did
i can't stand for eveyrthing alone
this time and today,i'm really have being a Loser
i can't make myself a decision
i do scare and worrying of it every second and minutes and hours
i don't want to do anything
cause i don't even know what can i do now
Sorry,for being stubborn
i got my own reason
it's happened on me twice times in a few months
you didn't got any authority to judge at me
because you don't even can understand my feeling and painess that are deep inside my heart
it's Hurts and Painful in seriously
i need someone for courage me and being my sharer and listener right now
Who goanna going to responsible all this that has happened?
Who goanna come and care for me in this emergency situation?
it's really Scary
and it does make me never sleep tight the hold night
i was facing my lappie.never press anything.just looked at it hour by hours
untill the this morning
i don't know what should i properly have to do
i scare,i cry,i worry and etc
why do every bad thing are seeing keep come to me?
what goanna happen at the next after this?
everything have come out suddenly without your expect
it's pathetic
Now and this time,
i'm just trying to avoid everything that does happened
i'm trying to avoid all the fact
i don't dare to facing it
i don't want to lies at myself
i don't dare to imagine it what's the report will comes out if i go for it
i don't dare to think how worst is it will going if it have happen twice
i don't dare to think how i goanna to survive it
i don't dare to think how i goanna facing and what's the reason i should give to my love one in the future
I DON'T DARE TO IMAGINE AND THINK OF EVERYTHING NOW
IT'S MAKING MY TEARS NEVER STOP DROPPING
Can i just try to avoid it untill the moment Dead?
-No.if i make it,try to avoid the fact,i will really totally will dead very soon in maybe few days or weeks or month if i'm Lucky
Or i should go over Hospital tomorrow for have a looks and get the report?
-No.i'm scare and worry about it.i don't dare to faces all the fact.i scare the moment when i get the report.i'm worry to myself.i scare in everything
So,what can i do now..?
i'm really can't get any anwer
i shoudn't know what i want and need
Daisy Ling Kok Sing
i tell you:You're totally a LOSER now and this time
Sigh.