Crying baby

yes.i try to manage my tears
but i can't do it.i try it hardly
the tears is just can't stand from my weakness
tears is still dropping down.every moment since last night untill now
while i think back all the past.everything and otherelse
untill now and this morning,
you can saw im going weak and weakness,
when the moment you looks through my eyes,and from my walking speed in every second
Sorry,i can't handle it at all,
i can't facing all this that was happened in a sec
yes,perhaps i'd totally have losing my way
i don't know which one and what should i do now
i can't listen everything from everyone
i choose to live with my own
i'm very emo-ing
i choose to cries,never stop
i can't stand from my painess and sickness
i can't stand for what've you did
i can't stand for eveyrthing alone
this time and today,i'm really have being a Loser
i can't make myself a decision
i do scare and worrying of it every second and minutes and hours
i don't want to do anything
cause i don't even know what can i do now
Sorry,for being stubborn
i got my own reason
it's happened on me twice times in a few months
you didn't got any authority to judge at me
because you don't even can understand my feeling and painess that are deep inside my heart
it's Hurts and Painful in seriously
i need someone for courage me and being my sharer and listener right now
Who goanna going to responsible all this that has happened?
Who goanna come and care for me in this emergency situation?
it's really Scary
and it does make me never sleep tight the hold night
i was facing my lappie.never press anything.just looked at it hour by hours
untill the this morning
i don't know what should i properly have to do
i scare,i cry,i worry and etc
why do every bad thing are seeing keep come to me?
what goanna happen at the next after this?
everything have come out suddenly without your expect
it's pathetic
Now and this time,
i'm just trying to avoid everything that does happened
i'm trying to avoid all the fact
i don't dare to facing it
i don't want to lies at myself
i don't dare to imagine it what's the report will comes out if i go for it
i don't dare to think how worst is it will going if it have happen twice
i don't dare to think how i goanna to survive it
i don't dare to think how i goanna facing and what's the reason i should give to my love one in the future
I DON'T DARE TO IMAGINE AND THINK OF EVERYTHING NOW
IT'S MAKING MY TEARS NEVER STOP DROPPING
Can i just try to avoid it untill the moment Dead?
-No.if i make it,try to avoid the fact,i will really totally will dead very soon in maybe few days or weeks or month if i'm Lucky
Or i should go over Hospital tomorrow for have a looks and get the report?
-No.i'm scare and worry about it.i don't dare to faces all the fact.i scare the moment when i get the report.i'm worry to myself.i scare in everything
So,what can i do now..?
i'm really can't get any anwer
i shoudn't know what i want and need
Daisy Ling Kok Sing
i tell you:You're totally a LOSER now and this time
Sigh.